


GBF

by punkrockpotato



Category: Panic! at the Disco
Genre: M/M, Ryden
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-22
Updated: 2016-03-23
Packaged: 2018-05-28 07:55:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6321268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/punkrockpotato/pseuds/punkrockpotato
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“GBF?” Mr. Foxlink questions, ignoring Danielle’s laughter that fills the room. </p><p>“Yeah. Gay best friend” Ashlee defines. </p><p>“GBF is the newest Chanel purse.” Shawna adds. Great. I’m a purse now. The newest, hottest accessory the most popular girls in the school wants</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Gay Dating Apps

**Author's Note:**

> I watched GBF on Netflix a really long time ago actually. But yes. It is based off of that. But this one involved Ryan Ross and his fluffy ass hair so yay.

“I'm not going to prom” I've been going through this fight with my friend since the beginning of our senior year. But now, you can. Hear the words ‘prom’ being murmured throughout the halls and now Jon will not stop talking about it. “I don’t even have a date”

Jon leans back on my bed and frowns. “You don’t need a date. Just go for fun” 

“Fun” Danielle says, sneaking up from behind me. I’m guessing my mum let her in, or she just walked in, it’s totally possible. “Ryan doesn’t know fun” 

“Of course he knows fun, he’s gay!” Jon comes to my defence, which I did not actually need. 

Danielle rolls her eyes. “Gay guys only have fun with other gay guys, duh” Danielle steals a pillow from underneath Jon, making him fall, before she throws it on the ground and lets her body follow. 

“Then let’s get him a boy” Jon smirks, lunging for my phone. I try to stop him but he’s too quick, him and his skinny ass body. “We just download the gay dating app- Grinder- and hotties will be wanting you within minutes.

“Try to spice him up a little bit” Danielle says from the floor, her voice muffled by the pillow “Say he likes scuba diving or some shit” 

“Do I get any say in this?” I ask

“No” They both object in unison. I don’t even know what I expected. 

“Okay so,” Jon says typing furiously. “George Ryan Ross… the  _ Third _ … Looking for a top” 

“Oh my god” I cover my hands, embarrassed, feeling my face heat up. 

“Come on lover boy, maybe if you get some you’d stop being so cranky” Danielle giggles from below

“I’m not cranky and I don’t need a boyfriend” I say a little bitterly. They both give me a look and I sigh, “Look, I don’t want a boyfriend”

“Because he wants the Christian kid” Danielle points out

“He’s mormon” I roll my eyes, “and no, I don’t, because, again, he’s mormon” 

“A mormon with a very nice ass” Danielle laughs. 

Jon tosses my phone at me and I nearly drop it, but I end up catching it between my two fingers then bring it to safety. The screens shows a notification screen and quite a few messages already being shown. I roll my eyes and click off my phone. 


	2. Orange is the New Black And Ryan Ross Is The New Chanel

I planned to delete the app, I really did. But one thing lead to another and I’m sitting in English the next day.

I believe all messes begin with a goddamn phone.

The sun is shining irritatingly through the window, but it provides great light for the book I am reading, The Great Gatsby.

A noise draws me away from the ballroom dancing to look up at the door, where three high heeled girls stand looking less than disinterested in whatever was going on in this class before they interrupted. Brittney, Ashlee and Shawna, the most popular girls in school.

“Ryan?” The blonde girl, Ashlee at the peak of the pack gasps. “You’re gay?”

Right about here is when my heart stops. I’m more of a keep-your-head-down kind of guy, this, is quite the opposite. I can feel that my face is as red as a beet and I’m speechless.

“Ryan! You’re gay?” She repeats “You don’t look gay”

“What do you want him to wear? Fucking rainbows?” Danielle stands up from behind me and slams her hands on the table.

“Danielle” Mr. Murry bellows. “Office now!”

“What? Me? Detective dimwits over here just interrupted your class!” It’s a lot like Danielle to steal the attention on to her, this time I’m thankful.

“Swearing isn’t allowed in my classroom”

“But bursting in claiming people are gay, is?” She says hysterically and even though the attention is on her now, I still feel like burying myself five feet under.

“Now that I think about it” the brunette, shawna at the door tilts her head and looks at me a little deeper. “I do see the gay in him.”

“You know what? I don’t care” Mr. Murry says exasperated “all of you go down to the office”

“I didn’t even do anything!” Josh whines.

“Everyone that interrupted class before your comment, Mr. Salvintine”

Danielle and I slam our books shut, toss them in our bags and sling them over our shoulders and we leave the room.

“So you’re gay though, right?” The girl with the freckles, Brittney, checks.

“Why you got a problem with it?” Danielle growls

“Chain your lap dog” Ashlee looks at Danielle with a grotesque look.

Danielle just kind of growls again as she pushes open the door to the office and sits down in the red chairs across from the principal-we all follow her actions.

“Danielle” Principal Foxlink frowns “Always a… great pleasure to see you”

“You too Mr. Fox. How’s your wife”

Mr. Foxlink just shakes his head. “What are we all doing here today?”

“Well these bitches-” Danielle starts, only to be interrupted by Mr. Foxlink clearing his throat and reprimanding her for her language- but she continues on anyways “these… people… just come bursting into our classroom outing Ryan and I stood up for him and now we’re here”

Mr. Foxlink sighs, something I assume he does a lot with Danielle around- I know I do. “Girls, why were you bursting in their classroom?”

“Well” Ashlee, clearly the leader of this girl pack begins “We need a gay guy. So we found this app and it lead us to Ryan”

“I just have so many questions about that” Mr Foxlink rubs his temples. “So they made the a gaydar… an app?”

“No silly,” Shawna giggles “it’s a gay dating app. We found him based on location” of fucking course they did. I’m not even surprised anymore. I knew I should’ve deleted that goddamn app.

“And why exactly do you need a gay young man?” Mr. Foxlink asks the question that everyone has been dying to know.

“GBF” Brittney says like it’s the most clearest thing ever and we’re all stupid for not knowing. Apparently, though, Danielle’s a genius because she bursts out laughing right away.

“GBF?” Mr. Foxlink questions, ignoring Danielle’s laughter that fills the room.

“Yeah. Gay best friend” Ashlee defines.

“GBF is the newest Chanel purse.” Shawna adds. Great. I’m a purse now. The newest, hottest accessory the most popular girls in the school wants. I’m so going to kill Jon.


	3. Gay Dudes Get A Lot Of Boobs

I swear. I didn’t mean for this to happen. But I find myself getting poked and prodded into Ashlee’s car and we’re on our way to her house.

“You’re so adorbs” Shawna’s sitting in the back seat of the red convertible with me, picking at my hair. Ashlee puts on her sunglasses and turns her head to her boyfriend who is leaning over the car door. He’s actually really hot with his razor sharp jawline, dotted with stubble. 

When Ashlee leans in to kiss her boyfriend, Brittney twists around and whispers to me “You think he’s hot don’t you?” I blush and she just giggles, turning back around as the car begins to speed off towards Ashlee’s home. 

“Starbucks!” Brittney squeals as we’re rolling down the road, and as the classic three white girls, one gay guy, we have to stop for Starbucks. 

“What do you want, Ryan?” Ashlee asks as we walk into the little cafe that is already buzzing with a ton of kids our age, who all stop and look at us. I’ve never been in this situation, everyone looking at me, staring and whispering like they know who I am. Well, I guess they do now, after we left Mr. Murry’s room texts were sent out and within minutes the entire school learned about the gay guy of Roswell High. 

The girls don’t even notice, like it happens all the time. Actually, I think it does, I’ve never paid much attention to them, unlike other guys who think they’re hot or girls who want to be them so their boyfriends would look at them for once. Either way, I’ve never cared much for this popular clique. 

“Iced latte” I manage to stammer out, despite everyone looking at me. 

“How gay of you” she smiles brightly, her vibrant pink lipstick making her white teeth pop out even more. “You’re perfect.” 

I’m still trying to figure out if that first part was a compliment or not by the time we get our drinks and head back out to Ashlee’s car. I’m just glad we got out of that place, too many pairs of eyes looking at me. 

When we finally pull up to the giant house with perfectly trimmed bushes, I just thank God I’m out of public eye for a while. 

“Mom! I’m home!” Ashlee calls out sweetly and an older looking version of Ashlee comes rushing into the hallway where we stand, balancing on heels and looking just ecstatic to see us. “This is Ryan”

“Ryan! Hi! Call me Sally” She smiles- actually her smile never even left since she rounded the corner to greet us, I briefly wonder if it’s botox. 

“We’re just going to go up to my room and do girl stuff” Ashlee explains.

“Do you need condoms?” Sally asks. I almost choke on my Iced Latte. Did she really just ask that? From what Danielle says, her mom won’t even let a boy in her room, let alone ask if they need condoms. 

“No mom,” Ashlee giggles “he’s not like that” 

“He’s gay” Shawna whispers like it’s a secret, and it’s not anymore thanks to them. 

“Oh, well in that case, does this scarf go with these shoes?” Sally points up and down between the brown printed scarf and her tan boot-like heels. 

“Yes, it does.” I smile politely and Ashlee is pulling me upstairs to her bedroom. It’s a big room with the cleanest white carpet ever with a big pink bed in the middle that has furry pillows and blankets neatly folded on the bed. 

“So” Ashlee says, going into her closet as I sit down on the bed and the two other girls sit on either side of me. “Who’s your crush?” 

I feel my cheeks heat up as I stammer out “W-what? N-no one!”

“He thinks you’re BF is cute” Brittney gossips, watching Ashlee try dresses against herself. 

Ashlee giggles “Well so do I. Great in bed too. I’m not surprised that all girls… and gay guys… want him” She smiles warmly at me. 

“But no really” Ashlee pulls her shirt over her head and begins to unbutton her pants “Who?” 

“No one” I keep my eyes glued to the ground for her privacy. 

“You can look, Ryan” Shawna says getting up and removing her own clothes “We know you don’t want what we’ve got” 

I look back up to see Ashlee wiggling into a navy blue strapless dress with frill at the bottom and handing Shawna a grey dress with one shoulder strap with a studded shoulder. 

“Ugh, I hate the colour blue on me” Ashlee says, looking at her ass in the mirror. 

“I actually think that’s an amazing colour on you” I tell her honestly and her face lights up like a firework. 

“Wow really?” She turns to Brittney who is grabbing a green dress “What about green for Brit?” 

“I’d say violet” 

“Amazing” Brittney awes, putting back the green and digging around for a lilac dress. 

“And for you Ryan…” Ashlee looks at me thinking. “What size jeans do you think you wear?”


	4. Are Those Space Pants? Because Your Ass Is Outta This World!

This is a bad idea. Like, awful. I’ve never even been to a high school party before! I thought those things were myths, things just made up in movies. But I find that I was wrong very quickly as I’m pulling up to this giant house with booming music wearing girls’ skinny jeans paired with a tight, grey v-neck. If anyone didn’t get the memo that I was gay, they certainly will now. 

“So you’re serious about this fag thing” Ashlee’s boyfriend, Pete, greets Ashlee when we arrive. 

“Don’t say that” Ashlee defends me. “And yes. Ryan is quite the gentleman”

“I’m sorry babe.” Pete kisses her on the jaw and her anger washes away as she melts back into him. 

“We’ve got to get him laid tonight” Shawna says. 

“Drunk first” Brittney smirks. 

“Now that, I can get under” Pete says, then turns to me “Just keep your dick out of my ass and we’re cool okay bruh?” He pushes a fist towards me

At first I thought he was going to punch me so I flinch, but when he laughs, I realise his intentions and fist bump him back. 

Three red solo cups full of beer later and we are hanging out by the tree. I’m watching Ashlee’s boyfriend play beer pong with Brendon from across the yard. 

“Can he even drink?” Brittney asks “I mean, he’s mormon” 

“Brendon’s not a real mormon” Shawna giggles. 

“But he’s pretty close” Ashlee rolls her eyes “He won’t put out” 

All the girls giggle, and I just keep watching Brendon skillfully bounce the ping pong ball into a shot glass on the other side of the table. 

“Which means he certainly won’t go for gay dudes” Shawna elbows me in the ribs

“What? No- I, I don’t care.” I try to defend, but by the looks on their faces I didn’t convince anyone. 

“That ass is gay bait” Ashlee says “and your eyes are totally hooked.” 

“Am not” I mumble, sipping my drink. The alcohol burns as it drains down my throat and I kind of wish I wasn’t here. I mean sure I have the tiniest crush on the mormon kid but that is so minimal that I don’t even bother with it. So what? He’s got a nice ass. But I’m not sobbing because he’s straight. 

“He’s the pastor’s son” Shawna informs me, so if he wasn’t already untouchable, he definitely is now. 

I shrug like it doesn’t matter, because it doesn’t. “I think rule number one of being gay is to not fall for a straight guy” 

\------  
After Ashlee and Pete sneak off to fuck, I decide to just go home. I am the only gay guy in this town, being here doesn’t do me any good. All I’m getting is sideways glances and a lot of talking behind my back. 


	5. Biology: The Study Of Life (Sex)

My life isn’t really even a life anymore, it’s just a downward spiral of gay vibes and a series of unfortunate events.

Showing up to school Monday was ridiculously stressful, seeing as the girls _had_ to pick me up and stop for Starbucks. These girls are nothing like Danielle, the only girl I’ve ever really hung out with beside my mom. They’re all squealy and obsessed over lipstick and boys. It’s definitely a different dynamic than what I’m used to.

Upon pulling into the parking lot, my stomach dropped, and I knew this was going to be a very long week. I thought high school was bad before, hell, now I actually want my old life back.

The God following group took it upon themselves to start a protest. Yes, a protest. One with picket signs and hateful glares. The signs ranged from homophobic slurs to pictures of rainbows with an ‘X’ through them. What did that rainbow ever do to them? Looks like someone got bitten in the ass by a leprechaun one too many times. Okay, realistically I know the rainbow is a gay symbol but I’m trying to avoid my problems as much as possible.

Ashlee and her friends don’t avoid problems though, they walk through them.

“Don’t listen to them” Ashlee rolls her eyes, pushing through the crowd.

At the end of the protest group, Brendon Urie stood, looking smug. _Just great_. “We can lead you back to the light” he directs mostly towards me.

“Unless that light is up your ass… he doesn’t want it” Ashlee flips her hair over her shoulder, leaving Brendon speechless.

The rest of my day is relatively normal, considering. I mean take out the looks and the whispers, nothing really changed. I’m still not into it though, I hate, _hate_ , the attention.

But sixth period biology is when things get a little out of hand. Just another gay-vibe packed unfortunate event that spills into my horrible life that I can’t escape.

I got paired up with Brendon to do a chemistry project, because I’m just so fucking lucky. It gets worse though, this project is an independent project. “Don’t think you’ll get work time during the school day on this. You’ll have to do work outside of school.” Mr. Wilde told us. And now, I believe I can die of emotional trauma. Brendon and I, having to do a project together, outside of school, alone. This is just going to go great.

I told Danielle and Jon this seventh hour, then Ashlee and her friends when we get back to her house; and they were two completely different reactions, let me tell you. Danielle and Jon laughed their asses off, nearly getting into trouble with the teacher. Ashlee, Shawna and Brittney, on the other hand, squealed at that girly squeal pitch that they oh-so adore.

“You two are so cute together!” Shawna squeals, clapping her hands and jumping up and down like she just can’t contain it.

“Lab partners” I repeat myself, just in case she missed it “He’s straight”

Brittney snorts a little “Not after we’re through with you”

“We’ve got a plan” Ashlee smiles at herself in the mirror before turning to look at me.

“Of course you do” I groan.

“There’s a step by step plan” She explains “First we make you hot, then we get him thinking about you, then plant the gay little seed by appealing to the only real head guys have, and then we got a gay romance.”

“That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard” I say, but no one really seems to care because I’m getting pulled away to be their doll for another day.

\-----

“We’ve got this whole mall and my dad’s credit card” Ashlee looks at me devilishly “let’s go make you sexy”

Honestly. I’m not even offended anymore. I don’t think she means it offensively anyways, but that’s beside the point.

“Oh no. No. No. No.” I protest, seeing our first stop. “No one is going near my head with a pair of scissors”

“They won’t be chopping all your hair off” Shawna rolls her eyes, pushing me into the hair salon and smiling at the woman working at the counter.

“Hi Wanda” Brittney smiles, presenting me to the woman behind the counter “We’ve got you a present”

Wanda looks me up and down “And what will I be doing here?”

“Bad-boy gay guy” Shawna says like she’s ordering something from a chinese take-out menu. I don’t actually think that’s an actual hair style, but Wanda nods and leads us back.

I cannot believe I’m doing this. The girls reassure me that I’m going to look smokin-hot-irresistible but every snap of the scissor blades against each other puts me at even more unrest.

It’s only an hour of reading through magazines and discussing everything Jennifer Lawrence, when Wanda is spinning me around to face the mirror and yelling ‘ta-da!’

I have to admit, I look _hot_ . I guess these girls should get more credit, because… _damn_. It’s still pretty close to my original brunette hairstyle, but it’s cleaned up a bit. My hair is a little bit shorter with highlights sneaking up from under my first layer. Somehow, she even got my hair to look poofy. Like, almost messy but in a good looking way.

“Awesome!” The girls approve in unison, then we’re off on our next adventure.

They drag me through all the hottest teen stores like Abercrombie and Aeropostale and load my arms with clothes to try on. We don’t leave the mall until tenish, which, was when the mall closed.

“Thank you” I wave goodbye the best I can with all my bags in my arms as Ashlee drops me off. I waddle into my house and throw all my bags onto my bedroom floor before going to the kitchen and greeting my mom with a kiss on the cheek.

“You were out late” She hums lightly, I can tell she’s working on the bills or something by the way she’s actually wearing her glasses for once and how she’s got the frustrated look on her face that is only reserved for anything math related.

“Yeah, uh, me and my friends were just at the mall”

“My friends and I” She corrects. I roll my eyes. “Well that’s good, I’m glad you’re actually hanging out with some other people.”

\-------

I arrive at school the next day in my newly bought clothes. Tight skinny jeans, like the ones I wore to the party last weekend, a purple shirt paired with a checkered scarf and black converse shoes.

“Step one” Ashlee smirks, her eyes locked on Brendon who is looking at me and my new style “Make you hot”

I’d have to admit, they did a really good job at step one too. Like, not to sound narcissistic, but I’m fucking gorgeous. For once, I actually feel comfortable in my skin and feel pride as I walk through the halls.

“Be a little slutty” Ashlee instructs during lunchtime. Brendon’s coming over to my house after school to get started on the project and the girls are just full of advice. Not of which, actually having anything to do with science or biology for that matter (even though Brittney argues that sex is technically biology and since that’s the end goal, they we’re totally helping, but I don’t think my sex life is the kind of thing that Mr. Wilde wants to see).

\------

Brendon and I are sitting on my bedroom floor with laptops in our laps trying to figure out what the hell we’re going to do. It’s been an hour since we got here and the only thing we both know is that this fucking sucks. He’s clearly not happy to be working with me, the flaming homosexual. He kind of treats me like I’m contagious, like I’m going to give him the gay.

“Why did you choose to be gay?” Brendon randomly blurts out, then his hands fly up to his mouth like he’s ashamed he said such a blasphemous word.

I chuckle a little bit “Uh, well, I… I didn’t really _choose_ to be gay” He tilts his head and looks at me the same way I look at maths, so I try to explain more. “It’s like, you didn’t choose to be straight. You just are. Like, you couldn’t force yourself to like a dude in the same way I can’t force yourself to like a girl”

He looks down at his lap and mutters something that sounds a lot like ‘faggot’. I don’t really care. I just want this goddamn day to be over.


End file.
